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Bereavement by Suicide

Within your education setting, children and young people will regularly experience bereavement and loss through the natural course of life events. This period of time, throughout a global pandemic, may have increased these events.

One of the main physiological factors that has been experienced during the pandemic has been the wider impact on people’s mental health and wellbeing, with elevated stress and anxiety having a real impact for some. This has, unfortunately, led to some people completing suicide.

Behind every person completing suicide is a devastated group of people, potentially including the children and young people within your education setting.

Sensitive issues to keep in mind

A bereavement through suicide can be an extremely confusing time for a child or young person and it is important to note that everyone will process this differently. There can be a number of factors to take into account, including:

  • the age of the child or young person impacted by the suicide
  • the relationship they had with the person who completed suicide
  • their understanding of the situation and the circumstances around the death
  • their age and stage in terms of being able to process bereavement
  • their understanding of suicide generally
  • their role in the suicide, for example, some children and young people can be the involved in the process of finding the body of the deceased

Feelings, questions, and guilt

The above factors will contribute to the child or young person’s feelings around the loss of someone they know by suicide. They may experience periods of anger directed towards the person who has died, compounded by feelings of abandonment, particularly if the suicide was of a sudden nature. It is common for young people to have questions following a suicide and for them to ask questions to try and find some answers they need, such as why the person completed suicide and if there is anything else that could have been done to prevent it. This can cause feelings of guilt and shame, which can lead to feelings of prolonged low mood or anxiety. It is very important for adults in their life to re-assure them that they were not responsible for their death.

Confusion about suicide

How the adults react will be closely followed by how the children are.

School life may become difficult for them to engage within if they feel shame about the loss. These feelings can have an impact on social circles and could also have a real impact on their ability to engage with learning.

There can a societal stigma attached to suicide; some religious and cultural beliefs may view suicide as a moral issue surrounding death.

Suicide may lead to those experiencing bereavement being bullied by other young people because of the nature of the death. This can pose a real issue when trying to process grief and bereavement generally.

Your role as an educator

You can play a pivotal role for the child or young experiencing this. School may be a safe place for the young person to open up and talk to adults, particularly if the subject of the suicide is not discussed at home. It is important, where possible, to have open dialogue with the family prior to the child or young person returning back into school. Staff should continue to be vigilant and, where possible, re-assure the child or young person that the suicide was not their fault. It will be important for the staff team to keep an eye on potential bullying issues that may arise. The child or young person may have their own thoughts about suicide and it will be important to keep a check on this to ensure they are fully supported. It’s really important that the school is viewed as a safe place to vent their feelings.

Resources:

Link to useful worksheets: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/grief/none

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